About EGERIA > Monastery Etiquette
Whether you are new to visiting Orthodox monasteries or just feel a little uncertain about what is expected, here are some tips on the etiquette involved. Of course practices and mores vary from place to place, but below are some general things to keep in mind.
- If you are considering visiting a monastery, contact the abbot/ abbess/ guestmaster in advance to ask whether it is possible. Be prepared to be told that it may not be possible.
Ask whether there are any items needed at the monastery that you could bring. Sometimes transportation is an issue for the monks, and this gesture can be very helpful to them. -
Try to get yourself to the monastery gates without help. The monks may be willing to assist you in your transportation, but they have a lot of work to do and it's better if you can spare them the trouble.
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Strictly observe any dress codes and etiquette within the monastery walls. It is far better to err on the side of modesty, quiet and discipline than otherwise.
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Try not to be too chatty with the monks or other visitors. People are there to pray and work -- don't take up their time and attention more than necessary.
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Avail yourself of the opportunity to speak in depth with a confessor or spiritual father or mother, if it is possible and convenient for the monastery. These can be encounters of a depth and spiritual significance that stay with you your whole life.
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Be yourself. While it is important to observe the proper etiquette, you should also try to keep your actual personality intact -- not a more pious caricature of yourself.
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Ask to venerate the relics or special icons at the monastery. The monks will always be glad to arrange this blessing for you. Don't rush -- take time to pray and be in their presence. (But don't fake piety and take forever either -- if you're finished, you're finished!)
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Never take photos of the monastics or monastery rooms or grounds without the abbot or guestmaster's permission. Never post anything online or publish anything -- photos or text -- about the monastery without permission.
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As with visiting an unfamiliar parish, don't (verbally) question or challenge the local practices. Learn from them. Orthodoxy is rich in a variety of practices around the world; this is one of its great strengths and beauties.
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If it is permitted, lend a hand at the monastery. Present yourself to work -- enthusiastically -- in whatever capacity they can make use of you.
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In most monasteries, silence is observed during meals.
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Do support the monastery's industry by purchasing gifts or books from the shop.
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Do, if you are able, make a contribution of money to the monastery. This is perfectly traditional, and monasteries have projects and bills to pay for like anyone else.
